Waiting and waiting and waiting
by diamonddust17
Summary: Crackfic! What happens when Christian and Syed discover a certain website's thread?


Nothing serious... just more crack than Phil Mitchell can get his hands on.

For my lovelies at Waiting For Chryed to Get it On.

Specific users mentioned, mostly because their names encompass the craziness of the thread! Some bad language...

Love you all!

* * *

Syed was on the computer. He loved going on the internet and catching up on the latest news. Christian teased him about it so he often went on when Christian was asleep. He went on a search engine and typed in _checked shirts_- he needed some new ones now his pryromaniac of a mother had burnt most of his- he then changed his mind and smiled slightly.

He typed in Syed Masood. He did that sometimes when he was really bored, it was up there with googling 'Google'. He was shocked, that this time, his search had yielded results.

He clicked on the first link and stared at the screen, his eyes growing wider and wider with everything he saw. 'Christian!' He yelped.

Christian was out of bed like a shot. 'What is it Sy?' He mumbled sleepily. 'You sound like you've seen a ghost.' Syed pointed at the computer screen, in shock, his hand shaking. 'What is it? Has your porn site shut do-'

Christian peered closer at the screen. 'Shit.' He said simply.

'What is this?'

'How the hell am I meant to know?' Syed snapped. 'I just looked up my name and all _this_... came up.'

'Waiting for Chryed to get it on? Who's Chry-_ed_?'

Syed rolled his eyes. 'It's an algamation of our names, you idiot. It's pronounced Cry-eeeed. You know... like Brangelina.'

'But... how do they know about us?' Christian's voice started growing frantic.

'_Now _you start panicking!'

'Oh my God... this is so weird. Budge.' Christian squeezed himself onto the chair, leaving Syed perched on the edge of the seat. 'What- how do they know you're wearing my clothes? And how do they know we had a flour fight?'

Syed rubbed his chin self consciously, looking for traces of flour. '_I don't know_! It's creepy! They spend all this time _talking _about us! There's 49 parts... how can they talk about us so much? And how can they see us? Are there cameras here or something?'

'Maybe we should move out of Walford... I've heard Elstree is nice.'

'Look!' Syed pointed to one post. There's even people called '_Chryed Crazy_' and '_Walford Fanatic_'. Have we entered The Twilight Zone or something?'

'_OMG they're so hot, I literally squeed myself to death_. Well at least they have taste.'

'Christian!' Syed slapped Christian's arm. 'This is serious. What do we do?'

'I don't know...'

'Shit.' Syed echoed.

Christian looked at him in surprise. He's never heard Syed swear... first time for everything, he guessed.

* * *

**Later...**

'Christian! What are you doing?'

Christian turned at looked at Syed sheepishly. 'Sorry babe. This Chryed site thing is addictive.'

He scrolled down the page. 'What the hell? Sy... they know I went to the Mosque... how do they know that? And they keep saying they can't stop watching us everytime we kiss. That's just weird and obsessive and wrong... are they peering at us through the keyhole or something?'

'But you have a buzzer so I don't see how...'

'You've got to my front door enough times without me letting you in. Sometimes I have to buzz people in, other times they just walk straight through.' He shrugged, confused. His eyes widened as he had a sudden thought. 'What if these people walked straight through?'

Syed went pale. 'Christian, can you call DI Marsden or someone? This is seriously scary.'

'She's on another murder case. Dunno who it is this time. Probably something to do with the Mitchells.'

'As usual.' Syed sighed.

'So, we've got a bunch of voyeuristic, obsessive internet using weirdos on our trail. What do we do?'

Syed grinned wickedly. 'I have an idea!'

'You could fill me in on it!' Christian said grumpily.

Syed grabbed Christian's arm and lead him to the bed. 'Stop moaning.' He smiled. 'You old Quentin!'

'That's my line!'

Syed kissed Christian passionately.

Christian pulled away. 'What about-' He looked around nervously, as if the walls had eyes.

'Let's give them something to _squee _about.'

* * *

**OMG! Did you SEE Eastenders? Chryed were... OMG... X rated. I'm surprised no one complained.**

* * *

**The scene with Christian and Syed in the bedroom was absolutely gorgeous. I suppose it was Syed showing Christian once and for all, that he chose him for keeps. They're not going to break up. They're too good together!**

* * *

**Talk about risqué pre watershed. Who would have thought TPTB would allow _that_. :o :o :D**

* * *

**Who _would _complain about Chryed? There isn't a word for them. Except maybe GUH and HOT.**

* * *

Syed grinned widely at Christian, looking like the cat that got the cream, finished it and found that the bowl had been miraculously filled with... more cream.

'Job done.'

'How? They're still not leaving us alone.'

'Oh Christian. Give it time... they're probably going to die from this squeeing thing.'

He pushed Christian onto the bed, with a laugh and pulled his top over his shoulders, slowly unbuttoning Christian's shirt, kissing every inch of skin that was exposed.

'What's got into you?'

'You have.' Syed smirked.

'No, Sy, I'm being serious. Ever since you discovered this site, you want to have sex even more often than we do already! I hate to say it Sy, but you're wearing me out!'

'Those are words I thought I'd never hear... kiss me.'

'You're...' Christian's words were cut off as Syed launched himself at him.

* * *

The newsreader looked at the screen gravely. 'There's been a pandemic of deaths worldwide. The causes are mysterious. Emminent doctors cannot figure out the cause of death.

*cut to video*

Mrs. Rivers is the mother of one of the deceased. Mrs. Rivers, can you tell us what happened?

'I don't _know_ what happened. One second she was fine, watching EastEnders with me, the next she let out this high pitched noise and collapsed! I tried to wake her but... I couldn't...' *collapses in sobs*

Newsreader: So there you have it. The investigation into the suspicious deaths continues.

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